Flotsam & Jetsam

Recent news you can sort of use.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Press Releases

AP Photo / Carolyn Kaster, an online casino site, recently announced that the “highest earning male name” in America is…Barack. The site claims that “the 37 people bearing the name across the United States” have an average salary of $58,250. We don’t know the current earnings of the one Barack with ties to the Vineyard, though his net worth is widely reported to be somewhere north of $70 million. Let’s just say we wish the other thirty-six Baracks the best of luck.

Not So Still, But Still Okay

In a split decision, the Martha’s Vineyard Commission approved a proposal to create an “arts and humanities center” at Stillpoint Meadows next to the Polly Hill Arboretum in West Tisbury. To minimize impact on the otherwise rural neighborhood, however, they capped the number of events allowed per year at 1,000, and the number of visitors at 38,000.

Fishy Logic

Ray Ewing

Striped bass populations have plummeted in recent years, leading federal regulators to protect the large breeding females by reducing the maximum size fish that recreational anglers are allowed to keep from thirty-five inches to thirty-one inches. Perversely, Massachusetts allows commercial fishermen to harvest only fish that are bigger than thirty-five inches. What can you do? Order the local beef.

Get 007 on the Line

There apparently not being enough screened-in sitting opportunities at the other nine Edgartown properties he purchased under the banner of Goldeneye LLC, investment mogul David Malm has proposed expanding the house he bought at 81 South Water Street last year in such a way that the humble neighbors worry they will lose one of the last peeker views of the harbor. Even more diabolical, perhaps, one leader of the opposition described the proposed house as nothing less than “a modern, Hamptons-style mansion.”

CSI: Nantucket

Ray Ewing

A couple recently offered to sell a vintage Louis Vuitton wallet for some $300 to The Rainbow Fleet, a thrift and consignment store on the island purported to lie somewhere to the east of Martha’s Vineyard. The store’s owner, Kristen Hull, might have been interested, but she recognized the wallet as one that had been stolen a year before, and recognized the woman as the perp in the store’s surveillance video. “I told them that we could go over the video footage from last summer together with a police officer or they could leave and never come back,” Hull told the Nantucket Current. “They chose option two and left calmly.”

Claire Ganz

CSI: Martha’s Vineyard

A family in Chilmark stumbled upon a rotting minke whale carcass while taking a walk on their private beach. After reporting the find to the NOAA stranding hotline, they were told the animal was in too advanced a state of decomposition to determine the cause of death. “We’re going to have to let nature take its course,” the homeowner said, adding that she would examine the body herself for rope burn and boat damage.